The relationship between humans and animals is special because somehow, when the world gets to be too stressful, or when you seem to face any type of challenge — your pup is there. And your pet doesn’t judge you, doesn’t ask you to explain. Your dog simply lays its head in your lap and loves you. The loss of a pet is a terrible loss. There’s a poem, called the Rainbow Bridge poem, that can help you mourn the loss of a pet.
The Relationship Between Humans and Animals
It starts so sweetly and unassumingly. You bring your pup home. Whether it’s a newborn pup or an older rescue, it doesn’t take long for you to get used to your pet in your home: digging through your laundry, sleeping on your shoes, and licking your eyelids to wake you for a walk.
And before you know it, your pup’s a part of your life. Loves you, needs you… and you need your pet more than you thought you would. It’s strange because they can’t speak… but they understand every word you say (namely “walk,” “treat,” “bath,” and “love”).
So, when the day arrives, and it is inevitable, how do you cope with the loss of a pet?
Of course, some people assume pet grief hurts less than human grief, but they couldn’t be more mistaken.
The human-animal bond is powerful — if for no other reason than that you can truly love one another unconditionally.
The Rainbow Bridge Poem
“Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….”
— Author unknown
In the same way you might hold a memorial for a beloved family member and share words of comfort or play music, you can do the same when losing a pet. The Rainbow Bridge poem is a beautiful way to remind yourself that the human-animal bond is strong, and that your beloved dog gave your life true value
Your dog made your home feel like home; therefore, pet grief can mean feelings of isolation, anger, frustration, and extreme sadness. Losing a pet is never easy, but poems and lyrics like those in The Rainbow Bridge poem might remind you that it’s okay to feel and to remember.
How People Mourn
Of course, mourning is extremely personal — the loss of a pet can be hard because even when you’re alone at home, your pet is with you. The silence when your pet is gone can hurt more than the most deafening sound. So, you’ll want to allow yourself to mourn in a healthy way. Wouldn’t your pup want you to be happy, remember the best, but also move forward, knowing you shared something wonderful?
There are no rules when it comes to how you cope with loss of pet. One potential guarantee is that it won’t be easy, and as stated by the Palliative Care Editorial Board, “Grief… cannot be dealt with in a cookbook fashion”. Your personality, and your particular relationship with the pet who passed, will shape your needs.
Culturally and religiously, you may have ways of handling loss that differ from those around you… that’s more than okay, too. Listen to your heart. Ask for what you need. If you need some time alone, ask for it. Conversely, if you’d rather not be alone, ask for company. Share stories. Look back at photos and reminisce.
Tips on How to Cope with the Loss of a Pet
The big thing to remember when seeking out ways to deal with losing a pet is that you do not have to go it alone. There are several forms of support out there for grieving pet owners. In fact, there are even pet-bereavement counseling options.
And The Humane Society of the United States even recommends calling a “losing a pet” support hotline if need be. Usually, you can find pet-bereavement groups by jumping online. Or there may be posted flyers at your local market, library, vet, or groomer.
If you’re still struggling, or you prefer a more private approach to handling your pet grief, check out books on the subject from the library, read articles in magazines, or search for assistance online.
Here are a few more tips on how to cope with losing a pet:
- You can say to yourself, “I feel the pain of grief. I can sit with this. My dog meant too much to me not to feel this way. It’s okay to feel sad.”
- Call friends, family, other pet owners.
- Ask your local groomer or vet, someone who knows you and loved your pup, for referrals to grief groups. Your vet might even be able to simply connect you with someone going through the same thing.
- Host a memorial for your dog. This can be public or private.
- Keep a pet grief journal. You can write in it for as long as you feel you need to. You can record memories, or let out frustration. And if you want, when you’re ready, you can bury the journal outside.
- Listen to music that allows you to reflect and reminds you of your funny pup and the things they used to do. When you’re ready, switch the mood to some motivational, get-up-and-go beats.
- Get moving. It could help you clear your mind to continue walking at the same times during which you walked your pup.
- Eventually, you will be able to move on. You may decide to get a new pet, and that experience can be as richly rewarding as the last one, even though it’s sure to be different. No dog can replace the pet you lost, but building a new relationship could help you heal and bring you new joy.
Moving on…
Again, nobody experiences grief in the same way, but print The Rainbow Bridge poem out. Keep it with you for as long as you need to. And then, if you happen to come across another grieving dog owner in the future, you can share this poem that has become so popular.
The human animal bond needn’t be mysterious. There’s no need to diminish the meaning of your relationship with your pet just to move on. These things take time. Give yourself that time.
And remember the Rainbow Bridge poem, and that though your pup may be “long gone from your life,” they are “never absent from your heart.”
Learn More:
How to Introduce Cats and Dogs
Why Does My Dog Howl When I Play Music?
Domestication of Dogs: The Complex History of Man’s Best Friend
We lost our Marti at 5:30 am today… she was fine at bed time, lulu one of our 3 woke me up, I saw that marti who sleeps with my wife had gotten sick, both went outside and only lulu returned… I looked for marti and she had collapsed. She couldn’t walk, I carried her inside and called the ER vet and said I was on my way… as I drove her head was in my lap… I was petting her… telling her to hold on… she past away as I cried. She was my shadow.. always by my side till bed time. She welcomed me home always first at the door… lulu is the puppy at 115 lbs her and marti were best buddies and playmates… Tank, the old man, was marti’s playmate… I have lost babies before and it hurts… hurts a lot… I never forget them… one day I will be with them… all together
I lost my beautiful girl lady on 30th dec my heart feels empty without her.
She was a parsin jack russell that led a true dogs life always up to mischief.
she was 16 blind partially deaf had kidney failure plus a possible growth in her throat and large fatty lump on her back leg that caused her to limp
Inspite of all that she still ran down the road after postman loved her walks and cuddles.
putting her to sleep was heart breaking but living without her is harder, the house feels empty and i miss her so much sleep well my little girl wait for me
I lost my beloved dog, Molly, in August and she has joined her sisters, Nipsy and Suzi. I had Molly for all but the first year of her life. She was 12 and had become ill in the last 2 months of her life. I miss her so very, very much. No words can describe this pain. Only other pet owners know how this feels. I cannot have any more pets; I am elderly and about to move to a facility, so being a fur baby’s mom will no longer be possible. Now I hug a stuffed dog when I feel the need. I truly wish I was younger and healthier so that I could once again feel that special bond. She was there for me when I lost my husband. I couldn’t have gotten through that without her. Now she is waiting with her sisters at the Rainbow Bridge for me. Love you Molly, Nipsy and Suzi.
Mulan was a six mmonth old rescue dog, a black lab that came to us less than two months before Katrina. She travelled with us, first to Leesville and then to Dallas, where my company kept us for two months. Finally we returned home to the New Orleans area. Mulan grew to her adult size, but acted like a puppy for many years. She owned the old sofa as her bed, except when she joined us on the foot of our bed. Many years of companionship and love. After 15 years, she started to get old, the bed was too high, as was the back of the car. Her new bed was now set in front of the fireplace in the living room, but she still spent most nights next to our bed. At sixteen, she could not walk far, then came days she rarely moved, then finally she stayed in one place. It was time… December 26, 2020. We miss her. Rainbow Bridge helps, but my wife and I still have tears of memory.
Hi Robert; I loved your story and give you my condolences. But it sounded like you gave your fur baby a great life. See my story about Molly posted here. There are so many wonderful memories I have of her, beginning with the first day that we brought her home after adopting her. What a wonderful little girl she was. I have lots of pics and videos on my phone as well as framed pictures nearby. Nothing can ever take their place in our hearts. Bless you and your family for giving your pet a great life.
My daughter just lost her pet cornsnake’Calvin’. He was 12. Have lots of memories w/ him. Feel so helpless how to cope, what to say. When there isn’t much one can say.
I lost my Niko on Sunday.. we found out he had cancer four days earlier .
He was only eight . I am heart broken. He was the best dog ever.
I am so sad and feel so lost with out him . He was my friend , my companion, my buddy’s. All I do is cry .
Wow – about the day Buddy died. I knew it would happen at some point – he was a Lab mix, and nearly 14. That’s a ripe old age for a Lab. I’m feeling especially guilty, though. He had blood in his stool, I was pretty sure, but not completely. I think if I had got on it more quickly, I could have gotten a handle on the illness.
Everyone says, “don’t beat yourself up”, but I’ve been beating myself up. Still, I knew he wouldn’t live forever, and that it probably would be sooner than later.
He could be obnoxious “I don’t want you working in the office!” BARK BARK BARK, but our relationship was overwhelmingly positive.
I’m so sorry to hear that! I had two tiger cats that were sister; Schatz and Meeko. They were 13 years old. I had to put Schatz down on November 20, 2020. I found out this last Monday that Meeko had liver disease. I had to put her asleep yesterday. I live alone so I’m really devastated and heart broken. My house is so empty.
I lost my best friend and sister, Peanut almost a year ago. The thought of hitting the year milestone fills me with anxiety and is truly overwhelming. There’s a part of me that almost feels ashamed that I feel just as broken as the day we said goodbye. But there’s also a piece of me that doesn’t want to move forward and be happy without her. I try to remind myself of how lucky I am to have been able to love as much as I love her. I love you, P. But I miss you more..
Thanks Dr. Marty, this is helpful. I just lost my beloved Hazel on Monday. I had to euthanize her which makes it more difficult, but I had no other choice. My baby went peacefully, and she is no longer suffering, but I had hoped for her to go naturally. She was also only 8yrs old. Her death was too soon, and due to an aggressive cancer that robbed her of her livelihood, of all that she loved to do…
I lost the love of my life. Her name was Meso. She blessed me with 11 years of happiness. We were so in love. She was my fur baby and went everywhere with me. We travelled on airplanes to WA KC NC and more. She was a little blonde chihuahua and as soft as soft can be. I don’t k ow what to do. I have a gaping hole in my heart and my stomach and I miss her so I don’t know what to do or how to focus.
I lost my 14- yr.old Bambam recently and the pain is almost
unbearable. He was my confidante and trusted friend. He listened intently and seemed to understand. I loved him and miss him like hell
We have just lost our beautiful Shih Tzu, Mac
He will sadly lost by the family & especially his companion Teddy
We have always owned dogs & the pain is always the same when they cross the
Rainbow bridge.
I recently lost my best friend of 18 years…my cat Babygirl..I have always had cats..dogs.. ferritt..and have dealt with allot of loss in my life..this is different..truly overwhelming..I’m looking for a support group online that may be able to help me
I lost my Nico at 7yrs old a Siamese I miss him so much.I have lost 2 of my cats I loved so much Sammy and Casey years ago I still have there pictures still up I know how u feel